This is one of thoseĀ 

that feeling you get when you felt that heavy I may as well call it burden… Or dread or express pressure from your boss or colleague or loved one 

Yup 

I’m having one of those 

And I tried to ignore it by reading a book… Which made me delve deeper into the fucking book… It’s now nearly 5 fucking AM 

I needed that much of a distraction So this must mean that this is a tender subject . 

I have wishful thinking . Why didn’t it turn out this why ? Why could I do this or say this ?? Whyyyy and how ? How did it come to this ? 

Times like this I wanna cry in the corner but no crying would achieve nothing except relieve pressure but not good enough. 

But I have that thing inside of me that is saying no Tash you need to do this otherwise it will never end …. It will forever be on your heart . Be strong .

And I have the FUCK THIS WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE STRONG ONE!!! $:$:):@383)&:@:&/)2)3&39:

It’s a mess and im scared I really am scared lol and having negative what ifs ….

I don’t want my ability to handle things and situations to make me seem like a cruel bitch 

But it will. I just hope I’m not hated for it.

Because we all have to find other ways to deal with it. 

*sigh* 

What to do now ? I have work today as well .

Dear mind and soul just leave me at peace for at least 24hours so I can rest 

S.O

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