Am I growing up or falling?

So today I made the decision to deactivate my Facebook. Yeah that thing that I checked like more than 10 times a day, keeping tabs on what was happening in the world and with my “friends”.

Over the years I have been slowly losing friends or drifting apart whatever you call it. It hurts realising we live in a world where friends are not that important anymore unless they can be of use.

And I guess I am no longer of use. No longer valuable to these so called friends, so I went off Facebook. Because if they really need or want me they can contact me on the phone.

I hate this world I’ve come to live in. I hate all this responsibility that I’ve had to take on. I wanna go away for a while and not have to deal with the shit that I deal.

Maybe I’m reaching that breaking point from doing jobs for things I don’t get credit or a thanks for.

This is more of a rant than a thoughtful post. I’m not gonna go on Youtube and show my face. I’d rather be a keyboard warrior in this case.

Because I don’t wanna talk anymore. I hope I can type away like this more often.

Right now I’m feeling a lot of things. I feel lost, broken, alone, depressed, angry and myself and just why? How? Why was I dealt this shit? HOw did I get myself here? Why do I feel like some of my fears are coming true?

No I don’t know what’s going on. Let’s see how I go with the staying away from Facebook thing at the moment.

That I thought I could handle all this attitude is going and here comes the I can’t and I don’t want to. I wish I could bury my head in the sand and just say fuck you all I don’t wanna come out.

Because right now I don’t feel loved or happy. Yeah I know appreciate what I have. This is a first world problem there are others who are far off worse than you.

But I’m still allowed to complain. And if certain people don’t wanna hear it then let it become data on the internet. At I know someone will probably read this, think I’m ridiculous and say some bullshit comment and move on with their day.

First of all fuck you.

Second of all I HOPE you have a very NICE day.

Maybe I’ll post something more later.

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