A lot of people know that I am not what my friend refers to as a “nester” I can’t settle down with the first person I meet and so on.

My boyfriend has a lot of time on his hands. He’s outta school, is working but is on call so he basically is told say less than a weeks notice, otherwise he’s at home.

I don’t have as much time, I have school, attempt to take care of the house, look after my baby sister and mum and then do what I need to do for myself.One thing I do not have is enough time.

My boyfriend and I live apart from each other, tad far too. (To the extent that there is a time difference)

A lot of his friends don’t really consider “this” a relationship and all. I was kinda shocked and sad of this fact, and I can’t say oh well here.

I spoke to a relative of mine about this and she agreed with them, I was shocked but even though I love this guy I do (he makes me smile, laugh and want to hug him) I still had that nagging thought in the back of my head.

I’ve been with him for a while now (3months and 19 days. Yes I actually kept count). I did know him for a bit longer than that though.

It’s a fear of losing me he told me.

*sighs* I just don’t anymore.

Maybe I should just lose contact with everyone for a while. Go into Hermit mode for a while….