Hmm

Very bitchy previous post huh…

I head back to school on Wednesday,

Im dreading it because I really do think now that I completely bombed my exams.

Scared what mum is going to think,

Rest assured that my net prvilages will decrease largely

*sigh*

Too much stress, too many high expectations, too many problems.

I’m just gonna take a break from going to my sites for a while. Spend my time studying and going fucking mental from all the fucking studying I have to do because my mother is a fucking control freak T.T

“Just listen to what I say and your life will be set” Yeah YOUR life shows how fucking set it will be for me.

I’m tired I gotta get up at like 8 tommorow so I’m off to bed.

Jealousy

I just hate it.

I personally am not the jealous type.

Never really have been.

So why is it that who ever my partner is THEY HAVE A FUCKING JEALOUSY ISSUE!

GRRR It annoys the fuck outta me

Yes you I’m talking about you!

The fact that you get moody even if a guys name  is mentioned. A NAME.

FOR FUCKS SAKE!

and you wonder why I don’t always tell you everything.

It’s because of this.

This post is full of fucking anger for  fucking obvious fucking reasons

Don’t push it I’m serious.

You either get used to the fact thathere are guys in my life or it will end.

I’m just fucking sick of all of this…..

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I miss her.

I wanna talk to her again.

Open up to her.

AHHHGG I need her XD

Life is very limited without her.

But back to the issue.

Im serious here.

Even though I love you I do I love you a lot, this is going to get to me.

I’m really sorry.

And DO NOT ASK ME ABOUT THIS LATER.

I MEAN IT.

DONT ASK ME.

A chat I had recently

A lot of people know that I am not what my friend refers to as a “nester” I can’t settle down with the first person I meet and so on.

My boyfriend has a lot of time on his hands. He’s outta school, is working but is on call so he basically is told say less than a weeks notice, otherwise he’s at home.

I don’t have as much time, I have school, attempt to take care of the house, look after my baby sister and mum and then do what I need to do for myself.One thing I do not have is enough time.

My boyfriend and I live apart from each other, tad far too. (To the extent that there is a time difference)

A lot of his friends don’t really consider “this” a relationship and all. I was kinda shocked and sad of this fact, and I can’t say oh well here.

I spoke to a relative of mine about this and she agreed with them, I was shocked but even though I love this guy I do (he makes me smile, laugh and want to hug him) I still had that nagging thought in the back of my head.

I’ve been with him for a while now (3months and 19 days. Yes I actually kept count). I did know him for a bit longer than that though.

It’s a fear of losing me he told me.

*sighs* I just don’t anymore.

Maybe I should just lose contact with everyone for a while. Go into Hermit mode for a while….

Feel angry

Well me and my boyfriend had a sort of argument you could say…

I can’t stand being pulled back or controlled.

I don’t always listen to people

I’m not a fucking conformist
I hate that shit

I was looking at my ya know horoscope analysis and it basically described people under my sign.

I looked and thought hmm that is like me.

I can’t fucking help the fact that I don’t prioritise or whatever the fuck

GRR I’m soo fucking pissed off

I’m sorry but I’m always doing something

Life is fucking hectic as it is at the moment and I don’t need someone whose telling me that I don’t spend enough time with them
fucking get in line cos it’s not my fucking fault that I’m always fucking busy.

I love my boyfriend I do, but I’m one of those girls that needs her space from her bf once in a while.

I am so sorry if I’ve hurt you in any way but I need my space from you sometimes and others to at times.

Things have changed since we first met.

I’m not who I was last year.

I’m one of those people?

I guess… Because that’s what I’m being told?

A lot of people I know reckon that it’s hard for a guy NOT to like me (I really don’t see your point here ya know)

Are they basing this all on the people I know? Or something?

Yeah sure I’ve been hit on a couple of times etc but that’s just based on how I look (I think I’m alright lol…)

But then today I asked someone I know ya know outta curiousity what they like about me soo much  and this is what they actually and I mean actually said..

i think its the fact that i dunno that i like

Ahuh and that makes a lot of sense to me.. heres more

sooooo ur a very deep persn ey

its supposed to be a good thing it means that i dunno ur a lot more than wat u appear to be

hence the reason i said i dunno y i lyk u but its just the fact that i dunno y i like u that i like u

ur a lot more than u appear

JUST SO YOU KNOW! It’s not in THAT sense. They mean it as a friend thing =]

One friend said to me “Tash, you’re like an onion…Multilayered *smiles*”

HAHA

I love my friends (Or as Caz says “my people”)

HAHA

Well I’ll continue this later

I have a movie to finish watching with my family LOL (FUN ^.^

catcha, Tasha