Keeping Tabs

So 21st is on it’s way… 

But I don’t think I will feel it.

Why should I? I still feel like I’m seen as a 16 year old girl. 

Having to still tell mum where I’m going and what I’m going to do.

Hang out I thought I was an adult now? That I could do things on my own? I don’t get it?  Why should I act like an adult if I still have to report when I got to work or when I’m going to do something?

 

I know the worried parent who worries about their child and wants to make sure that they are safe and not in any trouble. 

 

BUT.

 

I don’t feel like I will reach adulthood because of this experience. 

Rice Cooker Baking Experiment #2: Banana Bread

Reblogged from A Modern Girl / モダンガール:

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The end of the year has brought lots of real world-related craziness, but a girl's gotta eat! I tried my hand at a second rice cooker baking experiment today, so I thought I'd share the results! I love banana bread--especially when it's super moist and banana-y. I found a super easy-looking recipe for No-Fuss Rice Cooker Banana Bread on a webzine put out by Hiroshima Prefecture's JET Programme and adapted it slightly:

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Oooh looks awesome!! May try this one day :)

R.I.P to those in the Newtown shooting

All over the news all one can see is the Newtown school shooting. It’s so heartbreaking to see and hear about all those children that were shot. I hope then didn’t suffer any pain.

There are soo many questions concerning this tragedy:
- Why did the shooter do this?
- Was he thinking straight?
- Did he just snap?
- How did he get in the school?
- Why shoot the children?
- How did he acquire the guns?

From what I’ve heard and read.. they said he was a good kid.. he’s the same age as me… it kinda freaks me out..

I just wanna know why he did this? Why would you shoot children?

This all comes back to gun and weapons.. these days you cam easily get a gun or any other weapons off the streets!!

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE PEOPLE TO REALISE HOW DANGEROUS GUNS ARE!!

This isn’t one of those situations where if the school had weapons that people would not have died. People still would have died…

You know what I found freaky? Hearing that this shooter came into the nurses office but didn’t shoot her. Why not?

And all those poor children who had to witness all that… I how they will be able to move on with their lives without any traumatic issues.

And the utmost respect for the Principals and Teachers who protected those children to the best of their ability.

Rest In Peace to all those that died on this day.

I hope all those that are left here will also be able to recover.

Loss in confidence

I really don’t know what’s wrong with me these days. The strong confident me is gone. The one who knew what she wanted. Doesn’t get nervous is happy and smart and weird and confident is gone.

Today I realised how much I’ve gone within myself.

I feel like I can’t do anything right

I feel like giving up now I feel horrible and stressed and just upset.

And I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone about this! Because everyone else has their own problems and I don’t need to make things worse for them. I’m just putting myself down in front of them anyways.

Oh so Heartbroken right now </3

My world a standstill

Some days I feel like everyone is doing something in their lives and are productive socially , financially and practically.

I feel like my life is a standstill. I don’t have much going for me. Everyone is free when I’m working or have assignments or on placement.

Yeah yeah I may nearly be finished with my degree but I’m not quite there yet. There’s a lot I haven’t done. A lot I need to do. And a lot I want to do.

But I feel like I’m stuck and I can’t do any of it.

I’m trying to make plans to get stuff sorted and even then no avail.

How the hell do I get out of this ??

Looooooong road to weight loss

So after many moments thinking I have realised… that it is easier to lose weight if your single.

I think I just got a while bunch of jeez tash DUUUUUHHHSSSS out there haha

I was thinking about it the other day how when i was younger. I wasn’t interested in getting a boyfriend. I just wanted to be healthy and weigh less.

However I know, the way I chose to lose the weight was wrong in a way… I had two proper meals. Breakfast and dinner. Lunch would be two apples and a bottle of water at school. After school I would go on the exercise bike for 30 mins keeping my speed above 30km/hr.    

I lost the weight and then the HSC exams started and I ate more healthy food at home but didn’t exercise… which was my downfall I know that…

And the uni started oh I so wasn’t ready for all those hours on campus and getting home just before 8PM… and then came along the bf who just kept feeding me but I still didn’t exercise….

Now that’s over…… I guess…..

Well at the moment I’m sick… but after this I need to get back on the bike and work out again… otherwise I’ll miss out on summer…

I think I’ll start blogging everyday about it when I start =)

No this isn’t self pity it’s venting and self admission you could say….

Lately I feel as if the only things that i seem to be thinking or saying are just negative… I’m not living up to my name of having hope and being optimistic. Maybe it’s all this stress, fighting, worries, not knowing what’s going to happen in the future or me just being uncertain and not knowing what to do anymore.

I’m loving my job. I really am! If I started hating it now, it would mean I just wasted the last two years on nothing.

But I need more work! I need job security…

I need help of course…

Sitting on the train and I can’t sit still

So I’m sitting here with music on my ears really itching to get up and dance!

Seriously feel line dancing haha cos good music playing and I just wanna get up go WOO WOO!!!!!! and jump and dance around haha

This weather is really getting on my nerves now… Really mother nature are you having run giving people hope that’s it’s going to be a sunny warm day and then you add this really cold wind to the mix! Why oh why??! =(
I’m sitting at the station freezing my ankles off lol yeah my ankles not my ass =p

So

yes i

can’t

be

bothered

writing

anymore

I’m

too

cold=.=